Aye we’re independent and we talk shite!
We even invented God! See that H in Jesus H. Christ? It stands for HAMISH!
Ye dinnae mess with us ye know! We invented everything you can touch, see, feel hear, taste and smell! Even bullshit!
We believe all this crap because, really, we’ve goat bugger all else tae speak of. Well except for hills and lochs, ye see we’ve goat tae call them lochs rather than lakes because “lake” is an ENGLISH word! And “loch” sounds mair romantik ye know? Oh oh and we’ve goat “Nessie” tae! Cannae forget Nessie! Naw!! No Nestle! Nessie! The Monster! We make shit up aw the time because we’re good at it!
Harry Potter! We invented him tae! Totally made up and even England’s greatest spy was a scotsman called Sean. Totally made up again! In fact, SCOTLAND is totally made up! It doesnae even exist! It’s a word! That’s aw it is! A word coined to describe a bit o’ land where the “Scots” live. Scots? Aye that’s made up tae! Ask a scot what a scot means and where it originated fae and they couldnae tell ye. They’ll start talking aboot Picts and Celts and they may even mention vikings and crap like that but ye know what? THEY’RE aw made up tae!!!
Whay made them up? HAMISH knows!
Aw I know is that we need wee books with oor pictures in them tae move aboot this planet and they call it “human rights”. Aye, it’s a “human right” tae have a wee book with yer picture in it so ye can move aboot the planet. Yer no allowed tae walk aboot freely and ye even huv tae huv a piece o’ paper stamped and signed tae allow ye tae travel oan a road.
Who invented aw this shite? WE did!
So what ur we dae’in noo? We’re gonnae add ANUTHER wee book wi yer picture in it and create anuther division. Or we might no! We might just swap oor UK passports fur EU passports! Aye but we’ll guvurn oorsel’s ………. fae Brussels! Aye Brussels! It’s an unknown fact Jimmy, that Brussels wiz founded by a scotsman called Bruce! These foreign bastards just couldnae spell it right!