Earthlinggb's Blog

Aye we’re independent and we talk shite!

Posted in Gross stupidity within society, Politics by earthling on September 14, 2014

We even invented God! See that H in Jesus H. Christ? It stands for HAMISH!

Ye dinnae mess with us ye know! We invented everything you can touch, see, feel hear, taste and smell! Even bullshit!

We believe all this crap because, really, we’ve goat bugger all else tae speak of. Well except for hills and lochs, ye see we’ve goat tae call them lochs rather than lakes because “lake” is an ENGLISH word! And “loch” sounds mair romantik ye know? Oh oh and we’ve goat “Nessie” tae! Cannae forget Nessie! Naw!! No Nestle! Nessie! The Monster! We make shit up aw the time because we’re good at it!

Harry Potter! We invented him tae! Totally made up and even England’s greatest spy was a scotsman called Sean. Totally made up again! In fact, SCOTLAND is totally made up! It doesnae even exist! It’s a word! That’s aw it is! A word coined to describe a bit o’ land where the “Scots” live. Scots? Aye that’s made up tae! Ask a scot what a scot means and where it originated fae and they couldnae tell ye. They’ll start talking aboot Picts and Celts and they may even mention vikings and crap like that but ye know what? THEY’RE aw made up tae!!!
Whay made them up? HAMISH knows!

Aw I know is that we need wee books with oor pictures in them tae move aboot this planet and they call it “human rights”. Aye, it’s a “human right” tae have a wee book with yer picture in it so ye can move aboot the planet. Yer no allowed tae walk aboot freely and ye even huv tae huv a piece o’ paper stamped and signed tae allow ye tae travel oan a road.
Who invented aw this shite? WE did!
So what ur we dae’in noo? We’re gonnae add ANUTHER wee book wi yer picture in it and create anuther division. Or we might no! We might just swap oor UK passports fur EU passports! Aye but we’ll guvurn oorsel’s ………. fae Brussels! Aye Brussels! It’s an unknown fact Jimmy, that Brussels wiz founded by a scotsman called Bruce! These foreign bastards just couldnae spell it right!


8 Responses

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  1. Marko said, on September 15, 2014 at 12:41 am

    Oh that is fucking classic!


    I got the DVD Box set. Been a massive fan since time.



    Ah, I’d forgotten all about that.

    Unleash Calum Gilhooley on them all!

    But afore ye go, check out Denzil:

  2. Marko said, on September 15, 2014 at 7:50 pm

    This is the one.

    You started it!

  3. Marko said, on September 15, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    I don’t know if this is an argument, for or against, but..
    Calum Gilhooley

    You can learn a lot about a culture by how much they take the piss out of themselves.
    Not sure what it says.

    • earthlinggb said, on September 15, 2014 at 11:33 pm

      I love that sort of stuff. Play on words like Two Ronnies did.

  4. Marko said, on September 19, 2014 at 4:51 am

    Scottish referendum: Voters to reject independence – BBC

    The BBC – self referential and self reverential. They actually reference themselves in their own fucking headline. As if we didn’t know how crookedly important they are.

    Now, why did I have a funny feeling it would go this way?

    Good little scotties, you know which side your shortbread is buttered on…

    Ok, one side won. We always knew it would. You never had a fucking hope in hell of being let out of the iron grip. But such fanfare?

    Maybe they got the vote wrong and Scotland really will become ‘free’.

    There must be a war on. If there isn’t, there will be soon.

    I could be philosophical, but I won’t. I will just quote the good Scottish man McGlashan:


  5. Steph said, on September 19, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    Apparently 97% of all Scots have now registered to vote because they wanted to take part in this emotive issue. Perhaps this was the real (albeit simple) reason for the in/out show! I recall not too long ago that you posted a newspaper article which asked people to register property (i think it was to do with Ukraine) and someone pointed this registration aspect out to you, whereupon you proclaimed that you had not spotted that point even though it was obvious to you. Correct me if i’m wrong but registering to vote is consenting to be represented/governed (and therefore to slave status). Also of note is that there is no longer annual requirement to complete a form to consent to being on the electoral roll (which imposed a fine if not completed and hence is coercion). Just a thought!

  6. Marko said, on September 19, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    I wonder what would happen if Wales wanted to get all independent. Not much I’m sure. Most seem to be of the opinion that Wales could not survive by itself without being subsidised by the Sassenachs.

    Isn’t that strange. We can grow food. We are good enough to work in factories set up by the Japanese. Would any of this just disappear overnight if we became independent? Sorry, just gave the game away there 😉

    It is probably right. I have no idea. I’m not an economist or whatever this type of person is called that works all this out. All I know is that the Welsh hate the English with a fervour that would make the Irish blush. The Welsh are probably the most bigoted people in the British Isles when it comes to their near neighbours. They don’t mind the Scottish so much, or the Irish even, but the English!

    If McGlashan is a stereotype of a typical bigoted Scotsman, then he is a rare stereotype, and pretty tame compared to his Welsh counterparts. The Welsh really are irrational and inferior about it, but yet they have the fear and need to suck on the English titty, ‘coz we just couldn’t survive without them’. What bollox. I’d like to give it a fucking go at least. Shit, it might even convince me to move back there (but then again it is full of Welsh people, so I probably wouldn’t do that).

    Will Wales even get a vote? I doubt it now. But they have no bollox.

    The Scottish, do however, have big hairy bollox, which is why I am surprised by this vote. Then again, not, because the propoganda machine that was employed to get this result was truly something to behold. It obviously worried a lot of people.

    Oh well, what about all those Scottish Terrorists that daubed ‘VOTE YES OR DIE’ on the council walls? Guess they’ll have to go back to their deep fried mars bars and nutting people that they otherwise have disagreements with in life.

    I particularly liked the way the Queen said she wouldn’t interfere, then the cunt went and did exactly that.

    I don’t care. I really don’t. I’m happy either way. I honestly don’t see what advantages it would bring anyone in real world terms. And obviously the Scottish people agreed with me, coz they didn’t see it either. They thought, like the Welsh – we can’t go it along. We need the English titty. We can’t grow our own food, we can’t work in factories set up by the Japanese. We are beholden on our slave masters – long may it continue.

    I’m kind of being ironic here and stretching for thoughts. I really like the Scottish people a lot. They do talk a bit funny, but I like it all the same. Hell, I even like the Irish. North and South, I love them both. It’s just the fucking English I don’t like. I admit it. I’m McGlashan. I’m worse than him. Then again, I do hate the Welsh more, spineless xenophobic bastards! But all my blood is Welsh/English, maybe that is why I am filled with this self-loathing.


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