Earthlinggb's Blog

Noah and a question for our dear Rabbis!

Posted in New World Order Religion by earthling on April 17, 2014

“And the animals went in two by two”

The story of Noah and his ark is carried on by all three major religions: Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Essentially, they all stick to the same story. However, knowing the “jews” as we do, I’m sure Noah was a jew (everybody was after all weren’t they? Well according to our old Torah friends they were), So, once having read the basics of the story once more AND considering our lovely “chosen ones'” demands that their traditions and beliefs are upheld and respected, I only have a couple of questions for our dear old Rabbis and people of that sect.

However, first, we have a stupid fucking question from Irene Munroe of “Hollywood Progressive” – loaded, as usual, with a political motive:


I got a reply for you Irene – directly from Russell himself:

Russell Crowe's Noah


What did you want Aronofsky to do Irene? Write in a subplot about all the gays who were around at that time being left to drown by Noah because, as he said as the ark set off: “What fucking good are you to procreation you bunch of queers?” while God looked on saying “You tell ’em mate. Bunch of depraved bastards!”



Talmudic tractates Sanhedrin, Avodah Zarah and Zevahim relate that, while Noah was building the ark, he attempted to warn his neighbors of the coming deluge, but was ignored or mocked. In order to protect Noah and his family, God placed lions and other ferocious animals to guard them from the wicked who tried to stop them from entering the ark. According to one Midrash, it was God, or the angels, who gathered the animals to the ark, together with their food. As there had been no need to distinguish between clean and unclean animals before this time, the clean animals made themselves known by kneeling before Noah as they entered the ark. A differing opinion said that the ark itself distinguished clean animals from unclean, admitting seven pairs each of the former and one pair each of the latter.


According to Sanhedrin 108B, Noah was engaged both day and night in feeding and caring for the animals, and did not sleep for the entire year aboard the ark.[26] The animals were the best of their species, and so behaved with utmost goodness. They abstained from procreation, so that the number of creatures that disembarked was exactly equal to the number that embarked. The raven created problems, refusing to leave the ark when Noah sent it forth and accusing the patriarch of wishing to destroy its race, but as the commentators pointed out, God wished to save the raven, for its descendants were destined to feed the prophet Elijah.

According to one tradition, refuse was stored on the lowest of the ark’s three decks, humans and clean beasts on the second, and the unclean animals and birds on the top; a differing interpretation described the refuse as being stored on the utmost deck, from where it was shoveled into the sea through a trapdoor. Precious stones, said to be as bright as the noon sun, provided light, and God ensured that food remained fresh.[27][28][29] Some more unorthodox interpretations of the ark narrative also surfaced: the 12th-century Jewish commentator Abraham ibn Ezra interpreted the ark as being a vessel that remained underwater for 40 days, after which it floated to the surface.[30]

Interpretations of the ark narrative played an important role in early Christian doctrine. St. Hippolytus of Rome (d. 235) sought to demonstrate that “the Ark was a symbol of the Christ who was expected”, stating that the vessel had its door on the east side – the direction from which Christ would appear at the Second Coming – and that the bones of Adam were brought aboard, together with gold, frankincense, and myrrh (the symbols of the Nativity of Christ). Hippolytus furthermore stated that the ark floated to and fro in the four directions on the waters, making the sign of the cross, before eventually landing on Mount Kardu “in the east, in the land of the sons of Raban, and the Orientals call it Mount Godash; the Armenians call it Ararat”.[31] On a more practical plane, Hippolytus explained that the lowest of the three decks was for wild beasts, the middle for birds and domestic animals, and the top level for humans. He says that male animals were separated from the females by sharp stakes so that there would be no breeding on board.[31]

The early Church Father and theologian Origen (c. 182–251) produced a learned argument about cubits, in response to a critic who doubted that the ark could contain all the animals in the world. Origen held that Moses, the traditional author of the book of Genesis, had been brought up in Egypt and would therefore have used the larger Egyptian cubit. He also fixed the shape of the ark as a truncated pyramid, square at its base, and tapering to a square peak one cubit on a side; it was not until the 12th century that it came to be thought of as a rectangular box with a sloping roof.[32]

Early Christian artists depicted Noah standing in a small box on the waves, symbolizing God saving the Christian Church in its turbulent early years. St. Augustine of Hippo (354–430), in his work City of God, demonstrated that the dimensions of the ark corresponded to the dimensions of the human body, which according to Christian doctrine is the body of Christ and in turn the body of the Church.[33] St. Jerome (c. 347–420) identified the raven, which was sent forth and did not return, as the “foul bird of wickedness” expelled by baptism;[34] more enduringly, the dove and olive branch came to symbolize the Holy Spirit and the hope of salvation and eventually, peace.[32] The olive branch remains a secular and religious symbol of peace today.

Ussher’s chronology, one of the most prominent attempts to date events according to the Bible, calculated that Noah would have lived from 2948 until 1998 BCE, with the deluge occurring in 2349 BCE. Calculations based on figures in the Hebrew Bible place the flood in 1656 AM (Anno Mundi); those based on the Greek LXX Bible in 2262 AM; and those based on the Samaritan Pentateuch, in 1308 AM. The Book of Jubilees, by a different calculation, also yields the date 1308 AM for the flood.

Miniature from Hafiz-i Abru’s Majma al-tawarikh. “Noah’s Ark” Iran (Afghanistan), Herat; Timur’s son Shah Rukh (1405-1447) ordered the historian Hafiz-i Abru to write a continuation of Rashid al-Din’s famous history of the world, Jami al-tawarikh. Like the Il-Khanids, the Timurids were concerned with legitimizing their right to rule, and Hafiz-i Abru’s “A Collection of Histories” covers a period that included the time of Shah Rukh himself.
Noah’s ark and the deluge from Zubdat-al Tawarikh
In contrast to the Jewish tradition, which uses a term which can be translated as a “box” or “chest” to describe the Ark, surah 29:15 of the Quran refers to it as a safina, an ordinary ship, and surah 54:13 describes the ark as “a thing of boards and nails”. `Abd Allah ibn `Abbas, a contemporary of Muhammad, wrote that Noah was in doubt as to what shape to make the ark, and that Allah revealed to him that it was to be shaped like a bird’s belly and fashioned of teak wood.[35]

Abdallah ibn ‘Umar al-Baidawi, writing in the 13th century, explains that in the first of its three levels wild and domesticated animals were lodged, in the second the human beings, and in the third the birds. On every plank was the name of a prophet. Three missing planks, symbolizing three prophets, were brought from Egypt by Og, son of Anak, the only one of the giants permitted to survive the Flood. The body of Adam was carried in the middle to divide the men from the women. Surah 11:41 says: “And he said, ‘Ride ye in it; in the Name of Allah it moves and stays!'”; this was taken to mean that Noah said, “In the Name of Allah!” when he wished the ark to move, and the same when he wished it to stand still.

Noah spent five or six months aboard the ark, at the end of which he sent out a raven. But the raven stopped to feast on carrion, and so Noah cursed it and sent out the dove, which has been known ever since as the friend of humanity. The medieval scholar Abu al-Hasan Ali ibn al-Husayn Masudi (d. 956) wrote that Allah commanded the Earth to absorb the water, and certain portions which were slow in obeying received salt water in punishment and so became dry and arid. The water which was not absorbed formed the seas, so that the waters of the flood still exist. Masudi says that the ark began its voyage at Kufa in central Iraq and sailed to Mecca, circling the Kaaba before finally traveling to Mount Judi, which surah 11:44 states was its final resting place. This mountain is identified by tradition with a hill near the town of Jazirat ibn Umar on the east bank of the Tigris in the province of Mosul in northern Iraq, and Masudi says that the spot could be seen in his time.[27] [28]


If there was another flood and another Moses and his ark today, would he have to admit pairs of homosexuals too?

If he did, would he have to split them up like all the other animals to ensure they didn’t “procreate”? I guess not. But then wouldn’t that be discriminatory against all the other pairs since the homosexuals, while not procreating, they’d obviously fcuk each other senseless right?

Also, what level would they be on? Human and clean animals or the the unclean animals deck?

Interesting questions don’t you think? 🙂

Any Rabbi out there with an answer?

Did Noah get it wrong or were there a few homos we don’t know about on the ark?


Don’t tell me! There were a couple of gay Giraffe’s!


Oh and another thing Rabbi: What’s worse? A jew screwing a non jew? Or a bloke screwing a bloke? If the blokes are both jews does that make it kosher? Would the Lord approve? What about a gay jew with a gay gentile? What about a muslim gay with a straight jewish female?

Basically, what are the “rules” made up these days Rabbi?

Or has your entire shit just flown out the window proving it was all a heap of shit from day one!

Ah! I have the answer: It’s whatever the government says it is isn’t it?

And it always was!


Oh and last and final thing: What the hell is a “Queer” now?

First it was Lesbian and gays. Then along came the bisexuals pretty quickly. So then we had the LGB community. THEN the trannies started making a noise so now it’s LGBT… but no, it’s actually LGBT and Q now? Does Queer now just cover anything you  haven’t thought up yet? Like vacuum cleaner shaggers? Or bestiality lovers? You’ve already got a B after all. When will you introduce “P” for paedophile? A year from now? 5 years?

It’ll soon be the ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ community!


4 Responses

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  1. Uffda said, on April 18, 2014 at 8:17 am

    Noahs Ark Tower Of Babel

    Bible/Social-Sex Homosexuality.wmv ++

    Take care

    • Uffda said, on April 19, 2014 at 7:56 am

      Lets look at another religious dogma>>> “Second Coming Of Christ”

      Lets end religions influence on our minds. 🙂

  2. Gazz said, on April 18, 2014 at 8:57 am

    Go out of YAHWEH to do this ? 🙂

  3. anna said, on April 21, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    The Second Coming of Christ is not a religious dogma… it is a coming at some point reality… it’s going to happen, guaranteed.

    37 But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

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